“WINNING GOLF STRATEGIES” – Must read for RLMGA golfers
Table of Contents Chapter 1 - How to properly line up your Fourth putt. Chapter 2 - How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee. Chapter 3 - How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in a bunker. Chapter 4 - How to get more distance off the Shank. Chapter 5 - When to give the Ranger the finger. Chapter 6 - Using your shadow on the Greens to confuse your opponent. Chapter 7 - When to implement Handicap Management. Chapter 8 - Proper excuses for drinking beer before 9 a.m. Chapter 9 - How to urinate behind a 4" x 4" post ... Undetected. Chapter 10 - How to rationalize a 6 hour round. Chapter 11 - How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water. Chapter 12 - Why your spouse doesn't care that you birdied the 5th. Chapter 13 - How to let a Foursome play through your Twosome. Chapter 14 - How to relax when you are hitting three off the Tee. Chapter 15 - When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent. Chapter 16 - God and the meaning of The Birdie-To- Bogey Putt. Chapter 17 - When to re-grip your Ball Retriever. Chapter 18 - Use a strong grip on the Hand Wedge and Weak Slip on the Foot Wedge. Chapter 19 - Why male golfers will pay $5.00 a beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 tip, but will balk at a $3.50 Beer at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender.
Hopefully you will find this book intriguing and purchase a copy.
In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same, Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game. It Rules My Mind For Hours On End, A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry, I Hate Myself And Want To Die. It Promises A Thing Called Par, If I Can Hit It Straight And Far
To Master Such A Tiny Ball, Should Not Be Very Hard At All. But My Desires The Ball Refuses, And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies, And Even Disappears Before My Eyes. Often It Will Have A Whim, To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land, It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand. Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul, If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, And Swear That I Will Give It Up. And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow, But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.
Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls .. A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. I Almost feel like a hybrid.
1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool.~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at ‘em.~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
So that's where it got off to.
Proper And Appropriate Rules Of Golf For Seniors …
Rule #1 - A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. Senior players should not be penalized for uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.
Rule #2 - A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled had it not hit the tree and can play the ball from there.
Rule #3 - There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty stroke.
Rule #4 - If a putt passes over a hole without dropping in, it’s deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.
Rule #5 - Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they can be blown in may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
Rule #6 - There is no penalty for so called “out of bounds.” If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule #7 - There is no penalty for ball in a water hazard as golf balls should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have yet to overcome. Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer’s shortcomings.
Rule #8 - Advertisements proclaim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new clubs, balls, shoes, etc. Since this is financially impossible for the average senior golfer, a stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.